


Trying to Reach You

by Yuki_Kiryuu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, High School, M/M, Modern Setting, Multi, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:01:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuki_Kiryuu/pseuds/Yuki_Kiryuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has a strange dream about long ago being a soldier in the scouting legion, and Levi promises to find him again. Eren meets the grey eyed reborn captain again his senior year. They're both students at Rose High school. They try to recapture there love from long ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strange Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Ok I'm so sorry for The character OCCness. I'm attempting to make it better but this is how it comes out.
> 
> It's eaten M because of future chapter's, rating might go up still.

The sky was grey and foreboding. It had looked like a major storm was about to open up and drown who ever was in it's path.

A 16 year old soldier, panic stricken and determined, paid no attention to the scene of carnage that has unfolded beneath him as he maneuvered above a 5 meter class titan, nearly slicing its head of as he moved past. 

Pieces of bodies of those he once knew were scattered around the scenery strewn with so much blood and gore, dying everything a disgusting shade of red. He heard the cries of those being devoured and he felt anger, anguish and frustration. He wanted to kill every single one who killed everyone he ever knew. 

He became distracted for a split second, which was all it took for the unthinkable to happen. After he had killed that titan that mercilessly killed his sister Mikasa, he was so taken by anger that he miscalculated the titan below him. 

The titan snapped at him, taking a massive chunk out of his side. He screamed before falling to the ground. He knew he only had minutes before he would bleed out and die.

"No!" A voice screamed in terror. He faintly saw someone take down the titan that will have ultimately taken his live in mere minutes. Said person then was running to him screaming.

His body had started to become cold, judging by how much blood he lost, he only had minutes left. He had failed to protect humanity and and everyone he held dear. Anguish started to roll over him, tears flowing down his cheeks. Frustration and anger boiled inside of him. He would die alone, a sorry excuse of a soldier who couldn't hold to his promise.

"Eren I'm coming!" He hears a voice scream, getting closer until the person was practically on top of him.

"Please don't...leave me!" Why did that familiar voice sound so heartbroken over his condition.

"Levi, It's ok." He said quietly starting to feel the strength leave his limbs.

"Eren, I love you... Don't do this please! You can't leave me all alone."

"Levi, it makes me happy to hear that." He placed a cold blood soaked hand on Levi's cheek. "I will see you again. Promise me we'll see each other again." He whispered feeling the darkness starting to ebb away at him.

"I promise." He said, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"I love you Levi. Kiss me one last time."

They kissed feverishly, then embraced. He felt his life slipping away slowly, so painstakingly slow. And by the sound of his sobs hope was at a loss for him. Eren slipped away, hearing faintly before he died.

"Don't leave me...Please Eren!"

 

__________________________________________________

Eren woke up, noticing he was crying. Every time he had that dream he always cried. He had been having this dream just about every night. It always confused him. He didn't know why he always had this dream and the man who was crying over him seemed so sad. He was distracted from his thoughts with a knock on his door. 

"Eren, time to wake up or we'll be late for school." Mikasa said through the door.

Eren slid out of bed and stretched. Yawning and rubbing his neck, he stumbled into the bathroom to get ready. He wasn't looking forward to the first day of school, especially being the new kid.

They arrived at the school, and he was feeling anxious and nervous. He hoped the kids were nice this time around. They had transferred in their senior year, which was bad enough.

Upon entering the school, they said their goodbyes because they didn't have any clasess together until after lunch. 

Eren sighed as he walked into his first glass which was science. He handed paper work to the most annoying teacher he had ever met. She was way too happy to be a high school teacher.

"Alright everyone settle down. Whe have a new student joining us this year." She said. "I'm Ms. Hanji." 

Eren sighed because he new what was coming. The embarrassing introduction of himself. This is why he loathed transferring. Why couldn't he just stay at his old school? Oh right, because him and his sister were abandoned by there no good father.

."Alright, why don't you tell us something about yourself." Ms. Hanji said winking at him.

'Fuck. this is so stupid.' He thought. If everyone knew what was good for them they'd leave him alone.

"Fine. My name is Eren Jaeger. I have an older sister." He said a huge sigh escaping his lips.

"Alright find a seat and we'll get started on today's lesson." She told him motioning to the desks.

Eren found a seat at the back of the classroom, but as he walked to it a short teen with jet black hair and smoldering grey eyes glared at him, his eyes following Eren until he sat down.

The class seemed to go on forever. He was now positive the teacher was a complete lunatic. She giggled and excitedly disecting a frog, explaining about the different bits, and he was glad he was sitting in the back because he probably would've hurled. 

Glancing across the aisle at the student sitting next to him, he saw he was still staring at him. 'This kid is starting to creep me out. Why has he been glaring at me this whole time?'' He looked away and decided he was going to ask him why he was glaring at him.

The class ended but a new one would start soon so no one left the room. He looked over to see those grey eyes still glaring at him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He asked him glaring back.

"You look familiar. Have we met before?" The grey eyed student asked him.

"No I've never seen you before." Eren snapped back.

"Weird. You look so familiar, I swear I've seen you before."

Eren just ignored him. He thought it was weird asking someone you never met before, but he had the slight feeling that he'd seen those eyes before.

The day was almost over. Finally it was lunch time. He found Mikasa, who unsurprisingly was surrounded by guys. He walked over and sat down groaning heavily.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked annoyed by his seemingly foul mood. "Classes not go well?"

"Their fine, but I had someone glare at me for two whole classes. It was very disturbing." 

"That's fucking freaky. Did you ask him why he was glaring at you?" She asked concerened. "Did you piss someone off already? God Eren its only the first day." Her voice had a hint of sarcasm to it.

"I did, but all he said was that I looked familiar and asked if we met before." He sighed heavily rubbing the back of his neck. "Why do I always attract weirdos?"

"Maybe you have the weirdo attraction gene or something." She snorted, ducking to avoid the juicebox hitting her head.

They said goodbye to each other again, but the last class of the day they had together. He was startled by being pulled into a closet by unknown hands


	2. I Found You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren explains to Levi about his dream,   
> as both try to get closer to each other.

He was startled by being pulled into a closet by unknown hands.

 

Eren was being pulled into darkness. He was scared. 'What is going to happen to me?' Why was he dragged in here he was so confused. 

He was suddenly pushed up against something hard. A wall maybe, it what he could conclude. Hands grabbing his wrist and pinning him against the wall. "What the hell?" he said. But almost immediately a hand clamped hard over his mouth.

The voice growled in his ear making Eren shudder. "I know I've seen you somewhere before." The voice sounded familiar although he couldn't place the voice with a face. Then the unknown male began kissing Eren's neck, causing him to shudder under the touch of their soft lips. 

Eren felt the stranger aggressively press his lips to his own, Eren whimpered under the force of the kiss but soon began to kiss back as aggressively. He lightly bit the lip, causing the other man to moan. Eren felt hands slither down to his waist. Eren broke away from the kiss out of breath and flustered.

"Who are you?" He asked, but all he got was lips pressed hard against his again, forcing his mouth open so the strangers tongue could tangle with his.

Eren broke away again mainly to catch his breath, but he wanted to know who this person was. He wanted to know why their kisses and gentle touch felt familiar almost like how he felt in his dream he had.

His hand felt against the hall, feeling for a switch to turn on a light. His fingers ran over something that felt like one so he flicked it on and was surprised to see that grey eyed student from earlier staring at him, his hands still on Eren's hips.

He was surprised to see him, but with his face so close to Eren's, he felt something familiar and oddly calming about his presence. He couldn't quite put his finger on it though.

"Who the hell are you?" He spat, glaring at him. He was starting to get pissed, and pushed the student off him. "Well are you going to answer me?"

"Levi." 

"Levi, huh. Why are you constantly glaring at me?"

"Told you. I feel like I know you, your face is familiar." He said pushing Eren against the wall again. "Let me remind you since you seemed to have forgotten me."

Levi kissed him again, more gentle and softer this time. His fingers caressing Eren under his shirt, he moaned in Levi's mouth. 

The next thing he knew fingers were removing his shirt. Featherlike touches were ghosting his chest. Eren felt a slight pang of familiar feeling welling up inside. He was confused. He didn't know he was crying until he felt Levi move away from him.

"Why are you crying, Eren?"

"I-I don't know. But I don't want you to stop touching me. I have this odd feeling that if you stop, I wouldn't be able to handle it." He said as Levi started again, this time flicking his tongue over his nipple. Eren let out a whispered moan, as hands undid his belt, grabbing his erection making Eren gasp loudly.

"Ah, don't stop Levi." He moaned as his thumb lightly rubbed over his sensitive tip. It doesn't take long for Eren to come undone by Levi's hand. 

"Mhhmmha---!" Eren screamed as he came. Hands were on him again pushing his pants and boxers on one leg, while Levi held him up by his ass, and Eren wrapped his legs around him to keep his grip.

When Eren finally opened his eyes, those grey eyes were filled with lust. "Don't stop Levi. Make me remember you, make me fall in love with you again." Eren said breathlessly, as a moan escaped him again as he entered him. 

Levi slowly thrusted softly and slowly at first, drawing out Eren's breathless moans. 

"F-Faster— ah…Levi!" Eren moaned and he started thrusting in Eren faster, both breathing heavy, Eren's nails digging into his back trying to keep from falling. Noticing this, Levi pulled out of Eren. He gently laid Eren on the floor, hitching his leg over his shoulder. 

"Do you remember me yet?" he whispered in Eren's ear.

"Nothing yet." Eren said breathlessly. "Make me remember you Levi."

He thrust into him again harder and faster this time. The sound of skin slappin skin was all that could be heard, besides the heavy breathing.

The pressure builds in his lower stomach and Eren is close, sweat rolls down his back and drips carelessly on the floor. 

It's different, full of feeling and it's enough to make Eren moan louder. 

"Ahhh—Levi!" The use of his name, so seductively like that brings him to his limit. 

"I—I—Want to be yours!" As Eren screams out, cumming allover his stomache, Levi has one last thrust before he spills his seed deep into Eren. Tears spilling from their releases, they cuddle each other for a few minutes. Levi running his hand through the brunettes hair, staring into the green eyes he still loved, even after many lifetimes he spent to find him.

Levi had tried to find him for a few lifetimes, the years went by and he almost gave up. Until today,when he saw him enter the classroom, and he inhaled sharply. 'I found you Eren, just like I promised.' When he noticed his green eyes didn't light up when he saw him, he knew something was wrong.

"Levi... I have something to ask you." He said his eyes revealing a hint of hesitation. "Do you ever have dreams of something from a past that feels familiar but don't remember it?" 

Levi sucked in a breath so quickly he almost choked. "Let's leave this room and talk somewhere else ok?" He said grinning.

They decided to skip the last class and went to Levi's home. His parents were never home so they could talk in peace. 

"So back to our previous discussion. Tell me about this dream." He asked looking at him. He wondered if it had anything to do with him. 

Eren was nervous at first but he went in to this whole explanation about his dream. Levi listened intentively, not interrupting him. Then Eren got to the part of his dream that always had him crying when he woke up.

Eren looked at Levi, and told him the last words of his dream that always made him cry.

"I will see you again. Promise me we'll see each other again." 

He looked at Levi, tears streaming down his cheeks. seeing this Levi grabbed Eren and held him tightly.

"I promise." He said, tears flowing down his cheeks. 

Eren's body shook at hearing that statement from his dream. He cupped Levi's cheeks and looked at him. Those grey eyes full of longing.

"You found me." Was all he said when Levi kissed him with such passion it made him breathless


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more pieces of Eren's memories of Levi return.

They broke apart from the kiss and Levi couldn't belive after lifetimes of loneliness and pain that he had finally found him. He was embracing the boy he fell in love with elated in the happiness he couldn't help feeling. His soul was whole again. No more feeling the agony he had felt for years. He had finally gave his life meaning again, but it was short lived because the boy didn't remember him at all, just had memories from his dreams that he really didn't understand.

Levi was jerked from his thoughts when Eren's cellphone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Eren where the hell are you?" Mikasa said obviously annoyed. "Why did you skip last period?"

"Oh sorry Mikasa, I should've told you. Please don't be mad." He said, starting to feel guilty.

"Are you ok? Are you sick or something?" She asked, sounding concerened.

"Yeah I felt sick earlier. Guess it was because of nerves with starting a new school. I'm on my way home now."

"Alright see you soon."

He had gotten up and started to gather his school books and grabbed his blazer. Annoyed that he had to leave before they really had time to talk, he had some questions he wanted to ask him.

"Sorry Levi, but I have to go home now. My sister is having a spaz attack that I skipped last period."

Levi sighed, upset that he had to leave so soon. It wasn't enough time and he felt upset that he couldn't have more time with him. "Alright, well see you later." He watched him exit his room, and he felt loneliness hit him again. _'Please get your memories of me back soon Eren. I can't handle these feelings anymore.'_ Levi fell on his bed, feeling tears form in the corners of his eyes. He needed him so much it hurt.

"I'm home!" Eren called out, taking off his shoes and setting down his bag.

"Welcome home Eren." She said as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a soda and some chips.

"Yeah." He sighed as he slumped into the couch.

"You okay?" She asked a worried look in her eyes. "Your almost as pale as a ghost." She said putting her hand to his forehead.

"Yeah I don't feel that well. Guess my nerves are just shot from the stress is all."

"Your a little warm maybe you should go take a nap." She said removing her hand.

"Yeah ok. I'll see you in alittle while."

He felt hotter than usual and had a slight twinge of pain in his right temple. He just chalked it up to his nerves from the anxiety of the day. He decided he would start reading the chapters that were assigned for homework.

His head was killing him, he sometimes got migraines when he was stressed or anxious. He decided he did enough reading for the time being and flopped down on his bed, his arm draped over his eyes. The headache had gotten worse and he drifted off into another dream.

_Eren is surrounded by titans, he's laying half conscious on the ground. He didn't want to die yet not like this. Someone came out of nowhere, and killed the titans surrounding him. The cold grey eyes of a soldier met his own. He was so amazed by this unknown soldier with the wings of freedom sewn to a green cloak that billowed in the wind. Before he passed out he remembered saying to the figure, "Who are you?" The figure said with a voice that demanded respect, "Lance Corporal Levi, you filthy runt."_

_Eren woke up in a cell, wrists shackled and chained to a wall. "Why am I chained up in a cell?" He asked the unknown person standing outside. "You tried killing a fellow soldier. Don't you remember?" The voice that answers him was without a doubt who rescued him earlier._

_He was now in in some kind of courtroom, bound to what felt like a pole. There were people screaming and he had a feeling that something full of rage was trying to break out of him. A kick came out of nowhere, he looked to see who it was, It was him, the man who demanded respect._

_"Eren, Do you hate me?"_

 

He woke up with a start, panting and drenched in sweat. His head was throbbing harder than before. He jumped when there was a knock at his door.

"Eren are you awake?" His sister said through the door.

"Yeah, what's up?" He asked still slightly groggy.

"Well someone is here to see you. He said he was supposed to study with you and that he had to stay over because you have a lot of work to do."

"So you just let some stranger in because of that?" He said angrily. "Who the hell is it then."

"He said his name was Levi."

Sighing heavily and groaned because he had to get out of bed, his headache was still pounding painfully against his temples. He finally made it to the door, hissing at the brightness of the hall lights, and grabbed Levi's wrist pulling him in and slamming the door.

"Why are you here Levi?" He asked with an annoyed tone.

"I need a reason to see you now or something?" He said coldly glaring at him.  
"Look, I just really wanted to see you." He grabbed him and pulled him close. Eren started to relax as he felt those strong arms envelop him. He cupped his cheek and kissed him so lightly that it felt amazing.

Suddenly Eren hissed clutching his head in pain. His headache was worse,

"Levi I-" His vision started to blur and he became disoriented. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and crumpled to the ground with a thud.

_He was in a old castle, cleaning with Levi and the atmosphere felt different somehow. It had been slightly suffocating, but now it felt warm almost loving._

_He glanced at Levi, seeing him staring back at him, his grey eyes still hard and stoic. "What is it brat?"_

_"Heichou, I-I um--" he was cut off quickly._

_"Spit it out if you have something to say instead of stuttering like an idiot you shitty brat." He said angrilly. "Well what is it?"_

_Eren took a minute to compose himself and took a deep breath in. "Heichou I'm in love with you." His confession suddenly came out of his mouth. After he realized this his face turn a dark crimson color and had a frightened look on his face._

_"Tch." He said and walked toward Eren, grabbing his chin and kissing him so passionately he saw stars. "I love you as well Eren. Don't get too cocky though brat, this doesn't change anything unless were behind closed doors."_

"Eren! Can you hear me?" He could faintly hear a voice calling him. He wanted to call out but he couldn't reach them. "Eren please don't leave me! Eren--I love you please wake up!" The voice sounded familiar and so full of pain. Why were they so sad? He reached his hand out in the darkness touching somethin wet and soft. He wanted to tell the voice it was ok. He finally came a little more awake, but his vision was still blurry.

"Eren, say something I need you to come back to me, I love you so much." The vioce said his words full of pain. He finally recognized the voice, reaching to what looked like a face and placed his hand on their moist cheek.

"Heichou." Eren said his voice low and raspy. He heard the breath hitch at the sound of the words he spoke. "I love you, please don't cry."

He then felt someone embrace him, still hearing the cries of whoever was holding him.


	4. Confusing Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gomen guys, I was procrastinating again. I was gettind blocked so I had rewritten this chapter like 5 times.
> 
> Anyways, here's the new chapter. 
> 
> I'm also surprised at how poplular this fic is getting! You guys are awesome. 
> 
> Thanks for the reviews and faves! It makes me truly happy!
> 
> Many thanks to levi-rivallie for their help with this chapter. I appreciate it so much!
> 
> If you guys wanna find me I'm erenxrivaillelove on tumblr.

"Eren, say something I need you to come back to me, I love you so much." The vioce said his words full of pain. He finally recognized the voice, reaching to what looked like a face and placed his hand on their moist cheek.

"Heichou." Eren said his voice low and raspy. He heard the breath hitch at the sound of the words he spoke. "I love you, please don't cry."

 

That was the last thing he remembered before he fell unconscious again. He finally remembered who this man was, the one that plagued his dreams since I was a child. He felt relieved that maybe the headaches would finally go away, then just maybe he could finally sleep peaceful. 

But then why didn't I feel happy that I finally remembered Levi? I should've been happy that they finally met again, But then why do I still have this heaviness on my heart?

 

It had been two weeks since I had seen Levi after the incident. I had been avoiding him, and I didn't know why. Maybe I was afraid to see him because I was nervous about how to approach him after that. I guess my feelings were still muddled and confusing in my brain. I wasn't sure on how to react to what I was feeling, because of the heaviness that still weighed on my heart. I started to avoid him, which I had been successful in doing so, but it was starting to get difficult to keep it up. 

He was planning on taking the same route he had been taking the last two weeks since he was trying to avoid being seen by Levi, because he was always waiting for him at the front gate. He had a bad feeling about taking the usual route, because sure enough levi was waiting at the back gate this time. 

I decided I was going to casually walk by, and not acknowledge him. I couldn't talk to him until I had my feelings sorted out. I knew that I loved him deeply, but my heart was making me feel otherwise.

"Oi!" Why are you avoiding me Eren?" Levi yelled, seeing Eren try to sneak by him.

"Huh? I'm not avoiding you, Levi." I knew it was a lie, but I don't think he would've understood.

"Tch. Don't lie to me!" He grabbed my wrist and squeezed it so hard I cried out in pain.

"Let me go Levi, your hurting me." I said. Why couldn't he take the hint that I needed time? Why was he being so obnoxious?

"I'm not letting go, not until you tell me why."

"..I--I um, I don't know. I just need to sort some things out before I can move forward." I knew he wouln't like that answer judging by his glare I was getting at this moment. I could feel my heart breaking as I tried to play it off as nothing. I don't know why I was doing this, and my heart was hurting, pounding painfully in my chest.

"What are you talking about brat? I thought we were past this. I don't know how many times I have to tell you my feelings. Why are you doing this to me?" Levi's words made him cringe. 

"I know that, its just I--" My words got caught in my throat once Levi's lips had been painfully smashed onto mine.

I struggled during the kiss, my heart painfully beating against my chest. I knew I wanted this, but I still couldn't get past the uncomfortable feeling that kept plaguing my emotions. I finally managed to break free of his vice like hold, sputtering and furiously wiping my lips off with the sleeve of my jacket. 

"What the fuck were you thinking!" I screamed, so angry I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. "You don't love me Levi. You're in love with someone I was in the past. Can't you see that I'm not that stupid love sick puppy I was then?"

What the fuck I just say? I knew he loved me, but I just still had this uneasy feeling. I didn't know he loved the me of today or the me of the past that followed him everywhere. I felt that I couldn't move on with my feelings until I knew for sure which me he loved exactly.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You have to be joking." Levi spat, grabbing my arms so hard I would probably have bruises tomorrow. "Why would you say something like that to me?" 

I could see his eyes soften, tears starting to cascade down his pale cheeks. His grip softening on my arms. Then I shuddered as his hands moved to cup my cheeks. I looked away, my eyes focusing somewhere else other than his tear streaked face. 

"I'm sorry," I said my eyes still staring elsewhere. Why couldn't I bring myself to look at him? "I just feel I can't give you all of me until I know which one of me you love. I know it sounds silly, but I do love you. I just need to know." 

"Stupid brat. It's always been you." He said gently grabbing my chin. "Look at me Eren." I cautiously moved my eyes to look into his smoldering eyes, I could see the pain and desperation in his eyes, which made the tears I was trying so desperately to hold back start to run down my cheeks. "I don't understand, why do you think I don't love you? The person you were in the past and the person you are now are the same. Why can't you see that I'm still desperately in love with you?" 

I shivered when his thumb lightly ran across my quivering lower lip as he tilted my chincand gently placed his lips on mine. I could feel the burning need of wanting to kiss back. Did he just admit he truly loved only me? I realized I couldn't hold back the feelings I had attempted to bury deep in myself. After all that's all I wanted to hear. I broke the kiss against wanting to kiss him back so desperately. 

"Thank you Levi.". That's all I could say before I was clinging to him, hungrily devouring his lips. He had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into deepen the kiss. I began sucking on his lower lip while his tounge hungrily explored my mouth. He let out a soft moanand continued to suck on my lip. We finally broke apart, I was shaking because I needed him, needed the friction and feeling him inside me. 

"We really need to go somewhere, unless you want to give everyone a show." Levi said, looking at the disapproving stares from onlookers. "I know just the place." He said as he grabbed my wrist and started to pull me in the direction of his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on another chapter filled with tons of smut as an apology for not updating sooner.


	5. Love and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well here is ch 5 I tried not to have any angsty feels in this, but it happened, sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me to go more in detail about why Eren avoided him so its in here. 
> 
> Oh and Je t'aime , ma chérie pour toujours Means 'I love you my darling, forever.' I used google translate, so if its wrong please let me know.

"I know just the place." Levi said as he pulled me in the direction of his apartment. I was happy, but I was still so confused. He didn't remember what he did to me back then. It changed me, and the reason why I was so confused about his feelings for me. I remember it now with so much clarity, like looking through a window. I couldn't stop imagining it, it was hard seeing that scene, and it happened right after Levi told me how he felt.

 

I was walking down the long corridor, because Levi had sent for me. I was walking quickly because I was told it was urgent and to come straight away. I was nervous, because I didn't know what it was about. Little did I know that what I was going to interrupt would change me and change my feelings for Levi.

I didn't bother to knock, I rarely did after he told me I didn't need to anymore after we established our relationship, which he also chose to keep quiet against my better judgement I happily agreed. I didn't care asking as long as I had Levi.

Now I know I should've left after hearing noises, grunts an quiet moans coming through the door. I thought Levi was alone because, well let's face it he is a man and has needs, but he usually did it with me but I caught him pleasuring himself on a couple occasions, so I didn't think anything of it.

"Levi heichou, what was so important you wanted-"

I was frozen to the spot, my mouth in a surprised 'o' as I stumbled upon him and the commander. I was so shocked, seeing Levi on top of him, in mid thrust, Erwin's legs flopping over Levi's arms. The look on his face was pained, his eyes I once saw to be beautiful, were wide at the realization I was now infront of him.

I turned around quickly, trying to compose myself, I was furious, and it felt like he had ripped my beating heart out and stomped on it. I heard fumbling of clothes being put on, and the bed creaking. 

Then the cheating fucker started talking.

"E-Eren why are you here?" He asked, stumbling over his words.

"One of the officers said you needed to see me. Apparently they knew something was up." I said my voice slightly pained. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I quickly turned around, my attempt at keeping my composure was lost. My body started shaking with pain as the tears poured down my cheeks. "So is this why we had to keep our relationship secret? So you could bang the commander behind my back?" I seethed with pain and I was confused, why did he tell me he loved only me if that wasn't the case?

"I'm sorry." Levi said, his face etched in pain, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Oh I understand. You don't love me then? Apparently not since you just threw us away."

I ran out and away from the room, and ended up running far as I could. That is really why I avoided him after that. I remember two weeks after that we got attacked by titans, and that battle was where I died.

 

I couldn't help it, my fears were still haunting me from then. I thought I would forget about that, since I didn't get most of my memories back from that time. I guess I was scared the same thing would happen again.

We arrived at Levi's appartment, and I felt the anxiety start to creep in and make my stomache turn. Did I really want this?

I was forcefully pushed onto the bed, making me sprawl out as Levi straddled me. I wanted this I did, but I felt dirty. I wonder if he really does love me, or not. I loved him with my whole heart, even though it was still broken.

Levi was kissing me again, but this time it felt different. It was rougher, but it felt good. His tounge in my mouth, inspecting every inch of it. I melted in to the rougheness, and I moaned loud while he nibbled my lower lip.

"You don't know how much I missed you, Eren." he purred, while he tore my shirt off.

When he tightly gripped my wrists above my head, that when I began to get scared. I struggled to escape, but all I did was further arouse him. Why was it like this?I didn't understand. This wasn't how love was supposed to feel. It was supposed to be raw unbridled passion right? Not rough and painful.

"Hey Eren, remember our first time we did this? Remember all the raw and powerful feeling of it all?" He said as he began unbuckling my pants, pulling them off with force, so skillfully, it made my head swim.

"L-levi, I'm not so sure I want this right now. I'm still so confused." I said, trying to break free from his vice like grip on my wrists. "I love you Levi, so why? Why are you hurting me?" I stammered, I was definately not liking where this was going. I was terrified, the look in his eyes, slightly cold and emotionless.

"Why are you saying that? Wait you don't like rough play?" He glared at me and my heart sank. I was trembling now, not from arousal, but from fear. I don't know why I was scared, he was the man I loved, the love that spanned centuries, even lifetimes, it was supossed to be pure. It wasn't supposed to feel full of pain.

Suddenly my cheek was on fire and I started to feel tears sting my eyes. Levi had slapped me. Yes, I was definately afraid of him. This wasn't love.

"Pay attention Eren. It's going to be fun."

Levi forcefully flipped me over, my hands still held together, but this time against my back. I was sobbing now. "Please, Levi, if you love me stop this. Why are you doing this to me?" I said screaming as he roughly pushed into me. The pain was unbearable, and I felt something run down my leg, which I assumed it was blood. I could smell the blood in the air. Sobbing into the pillow, my body wracked with pain.

"Why? I'll tell you why. This is your punishment for avoiding me. For tearing my heart apart back then, for hiding from me two weeks ago." He said thrusting harder into me, the pain was slowly subsiding, and I stopped sobbing as hard, but I was still scared to death.

"So I am trying to understand why you did it." He said, his thrusts becoming more eraddic as he thrusted harder, making me cry out from the pain, and pleasure of it.

My god I was being raped, and it was starting to feel good? What's wrong with me? Am I turning into a masochist? My release surprised me, splattering the bed sheets beneath me. I felt ashamed of myself. Levi came shortly after and pulled out, and I felt his seed running down my leg. I fell over and wrapped my arms around my legs, bringing my knees up to my chest. He was laying next to me panting, and I was scared to say anything.

Levi broke the awkward silence first, finally realizing what he did, seeing my tear stained face and blood spattered bedding. His eyes grew wide, and he started crying, reaching for me, and flinched when I jerked away from him.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry Eren! I don't know what came over me." He looked at my quivering body and his face grimaced with pain. He reached over wrapping his hands around me pulling me to his chest. He was shaking as he rocked me in his arms, while repeating an 'I'm sorry, and I love you's over and over. I finally wrapped my arms tightly around him, and more I love you's and apologies filled the room as we both cried in each others arms.

Finally after an hour of apologies, I looked into his eyes, while stroking his cheek and they had a softness almost loving look in them now. His was expression still pained.

"Eren are you ok now? Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?" He asked me worry etched in his voice. "I'm sorry I hurt you. Will you forgive me?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I should've told you how I felt.I love you Levi." I started to feel sleepiness closing in as my eyes closed slowly. As I started to drift off, I faintly heard Levi whisper something softly, but I had fallen asleep.

"Je t'aime, ma chérie pour toujours."


	6. Let the Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. I haven't been feeling this story lately. I just wanted to get this update out so I can do the second chapter for stripped.
> 
> This has a couple chapters left to go. 
> 
> so who do think will be the victor?

I woke up in a lot of pain. I hissed when I stretched, my back felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly. I didn't understand why he did what he did to me. I was more afraid of Levi now than I was before. I felt ashamed and angry. 

I decided I was going to go see someone who I knew would comfort me, and wouldn't make feel like shit. He knew how to make me feel better, make me feel like me again. Since Levi and I weren't together I could go to him without feeling guilty. I didn't know how wrong I was, and what would come to be once Levi found out where I went.

I left Levi's flat quietly as I could. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number of the person who would make me feel something other than fear and pain.

"Hello?" I sighed starting to feel better as I heard his gruffy voice answer.

"Jean are you busy right now? I really need to see you. It's urgent." I said, my voice cracking slightly.

"Yeah, I am Eren, but I can put it off. What's wrong?"

"Can I come over? I really need to see you."

"I'm at school right now. I'll meet you by the gate."

"Be there in a few."

I took off down the street, glad that Levi's flat was only a couple blocks from the school. I started to feel relief was over me as he came into view. I wish I had ended up loving hom my past life than Levi. I probably would've been much happier with him, but my feelings for him weren't as strong compaired to Levi. God, I must really be a masochist to love him even though he hurts me sometimes.

I broke out into a full out run, crashing hard into him wrapping my arms around him. He felt so warm and sturdy. I felt at ease and protected when I was with him. The air was more relaxed, and I let it wash over me, already feeling more at ease. I cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a needy kiss, feeling the uneasiness slip away. 

It was disgusting. I love Levi so much, but I didn't understand him. I know he loves me, but the pain. Why did he feel he always had to punish me? Couldn't he just look into my eyes and see the love I felt for him? I separated my self from Jean, my eyes staring at the ground, and I felt tears slide down my cheeks. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I felt bad to use Jean this way, but it made me feel better.

"Oi, what the fuck is going on here?" The angry voice said full of hate and jealousy. My eyes widened and I slowly turned around. I was still holding Jean's hand when I looked up to see Levi and his steel eyes glaring at us full of anger and jealousy.

"N-nothing Levi. I-I just happened to run in to him--" I stuttered out. I knew I would get punished again, my sick masochistic mind started turning.

"You expect me to believe that?" He spat walking over to me and pulled me away from Jean. "You are to never touch him again, or I will end you." He said this to him, with a painful grip around my waist. 

"I wouldn't be if you treated him better. He deserves to be loved, not abused." Jean said and reached his hand out to touch my face, to try to wipe away the tears that were cascading down my cheeks. 

"I do love him. I only am like this when he does stupid shit." He said slapping away Jean's hand. 

"That's not love Levi." He said to him, his eyes looking sympathetic. 

"I show it my own way." He said, his grip on my hips so tight I knew I would have bruises.

"I propose a game of sorts. Let Eren chose who he wants. He deserves much better than you. Maybe when you lose, you might actually feel love." He said, hand out to shake Levi's to start the game.

"I won't lose. I love him more than you know." He said putting his hand in Jean's, solidifying the bet.

"May the best man win. Who ever loses has to give Eren up, without hesitation." Jean glared.

"I won't lose." Levi snapped back, determination in his eyes.

"Neither will I." Jean said, looking at me with his eyes determined and full of emotion.

 

"Let the games begin...."


	7. Chapter 7

well.. sorry. this story is being put on hold for awhile. I'm just not feeling this. I think its too rushed. I will rewrite it at a better time.

thanks for understanding.


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